


Price of Comfort

by kijikun



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Pre-Canon, Threesome - M/M/M, Weechesters, angel!cest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-03-28
Updated: 2011-03-28
Packaged: 2017-10-17 08:18:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/174793
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kijikun/pseuds/kijikun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Winchester finds comfort in the oddest of places, another hunter with two children of his own. But there's a price to pay and John might not like it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Price of Comfort

**Author's Note:**

> Betas: pandionpandeus and others.

_There's got to be an easier way to kill harpies_ , John thinks. Followed up by, _I hate stone harpies_.

He dodges a stone wing and ducks a swipe of claws. He tries the shotgun again for good measure.

The gun is knocked from his hands, sending it one direction and him the other.

"Shit," John moans, back hitting the wall hard. It hurts like hell and knocks the breath from him. He scrambles for a knife, but the damn thing is on him. Death is inches away and all he can think about are his boys.

A glowing hot metal spike bursts through the harpy's chest. The thing shrieks then falls into stone chunks. Stone dust flies everywhere, coating John and his rescuer in greyish powder.

"I hate those things. Hell to kill." The man is short, doesn't look like he could have had the strength but John's learned not to underestimate hunters.

"Thanks for the assist," John says. The man offers him a hand up and John takes it.

"No problem. Always happy to lend another hunter a hand, just glad I was in the area," he says. "Gabriel Courier. Don't ask about the name, mom was an ex-catholic girl with a sense of humor." His laugh is bright and infectious.

"John Winchester. I think I owe you a beer, Gabriel." John's pretty sure he recognizes Gabriel from the Roadhouse. Something about his laugh. Hard to forget a laugh or a smile like that.

Gabriel grins wide and easy. "I never turn down beer. Or chocolate for that matter."

John can't help but laugh.

***

"Winchester, it's Gabriel Courier."

John cradles the phone under his chin as he makes sandwiches for the boys. "Gabriel, good to hear from you. What d’ya need?"

"I know this is a lot to ask but could you keep my kids for a day? I've got a poltergeist to take care of."

John pauses in spreading the peanut butter. "It'll be no problem. Do you need a hand though?"

Gabriel pauses over the phone. "Well -- Fen, my oldest, is eleven."

"Dean's pretty responsible...." John frowns slightly.

Gabriel laughs. "I think they can handle it. After all they handle their dads well enough."

John laughs. "Your place or mine, then?"

***

John's leaning against the hood of the Impala with Gabriel. It's New Years Eve, they've got cold beer, the kids are asleep in the motel room, John and his boys are staying in, and John's feeling pretty good.

"How much you wanna bet the kids are awake?" Gabriel asks.

They're standing shoulder to shoulder, stealing warmth off the other in the cold air. Its camaraderie that John hasn't felt since 'Nam. He remembers standing shoulder to shoulder with Adam, sweat running down their shoulder blades as they shared beers.

John laughs. "Hel and Sam are probably out. Dean maybe. Fen? Maybe still watching TV."

"That sounds like my son," Gabriel chuckles. "You know, I hear Wizard of Oz scares a lot of kids."

"They haven't met our kids," John snorts, before taking a long drink of beer.

They stand in comfortable silence for awhile, watching the stars and listening to far away fireworks.

John closes his eyes for a moment. He was on a hunt last New Year's eve, leaving the boys with Bobby. Maybe he left the boys more than he should have. He's trying to make up for that now, since Gabriel.

"I don't think I'll ever get used to it."

"What?" Gabriel asks, his breath is a warm gush over John's face.

"Holidays without Mary," John says, opening his eyes to look at Gabriel. It's barely been two years.

Gabriel's eyes look sad and John knows he's remembering his own wife. "Yeah, I know what you mean."

John manages a smile. "This year was better than last, though. Thanks."

"I'm not sure what for," Gabriel tells him. The backs of their hands touch and John feels a rush of warmth.

"For a lot of things." John shakes his head. "It's been good to have someone at my back."

Gabriel nods, maybe leans a bit closer. "Likewise. You know my kids adore you and the boys."

"Mine are the same about you and yours," John laughs. "Fen's done Dean good." His little boy can be just that again, a little boy. God, he came so close to fucking up.

They fall back into silence, their breath blowing smoke into the air.

Gabriel glances at his watch then gives John a slow, sly smile. "It's almost midnight."

John shivers, feels his heart rate pick up. Mary could do that to him. And Adam, back in those jungles. He left things behind in 'Nam that he thought would stay gone. Maybe they hadn't. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Think we should find some pretty girls to kiss?" Gabriel asks. His eyes dance with mischievousness.

"Think we should have started on that idea a few hours earlier," John points out.

Gabriel's smile widens. "Ah, guess we've got to work with what's on hand." Then before John can do more than take a breath, Gabriel's hands frame his face and his mouth slides over John's.

John resists only for a moment, but he's not stupid. And this -- He kisses back as the year rolls over to the next.

The kiss leads to another and another. John's hand lays flat between Gabriel's shoulder blades and Gabriel shivers each time he presses there. Their mouths are slick by the time John pulls away, gulping down air. Gabriel's thigh is a solid pressure against John's dick and it takes a good amount to willpower not to rut against him.

"We should take this inside," Gabriel's suggests. His mouth is red and John resists the urge to rub his cheek against Gabriel's smooth one to make it just as red.

John leans forward, closing his eyes. He can call this off now and he knows there'll be no hard feelings. "Not like there's a free bed."

Gabriel laughs. "There's an empty adjoining room to yours." He leans up and nips John's lips sending a friction of heat down his spine. "Don't go anywhere."

Gabriel walks off towards the office, and John sags against the Impala. It's a damn miracle no one saw them. He rubs his hand over his face and looks up at the sky. "This doesn't mean I don't love you, Mary. I just -- " He stops and closes his eyes. "I'm lonely and he makes me smile."

***

They don't make it past the wall next to the door. Both of them coming in their pants like teenagers.

John breathes in deep his nose pressed against Gabriel's neck and feels Gabriel's smile pressed into his skin.

"Don't know about you, Winchester, but why don't we give the bed ago," Gabriel chuckles.

John drags his mouth down Gabriel's neck. "Think we can make it over there?"

Gabriel laughs again, breath warm against John's skin. "I think we might be able to get our jeans off too."

"Shocking," John laughs and then kisses Gabriel.

***

Every part of John aches as he stumbles through the motel room door. He just wants to sleep -- maybe for a week -- but he comes to a stop just inside the door.

"See, he's just fine," Gabriel's saying and John's suddenly being hugged tightly by his eldest son.

"Hey, Dean," John says pushing back his exhaustion. "Everything okay, champ?"

Dean just clings to him until John picks him up. "You were on fire," Dean whispers into his shoulder, small arms wrapping tightly around John's neck. John tries to remember the last time Dean was like this, so openly affectionate with John.

"I'm fine. No fire," he assures his son. He looks questioningly at Gabriel as he strokes Dean's back.

"I'd say bad dream, but I think it was a bad memory," Gabriel says, crossing the small room. Behind him, John can see the other children fast asleep.

John kisses the top of Dean's head and wishes not for the first time that he knew what Dean had seen that horrible night. Sometimes he's secure in the knowledge that he's failing his boys. That he misses too many things. That he doesn't say or do the right thing for them.

"You do your best," Gabriel whispers, his hand resting on top of John's on Dean's back. "All we can do for our kids."

 _'I used their college funds for guns and ammunition,'_ John wants to say. _'I wasn't around when Sammy took his first step. Said his first word.'_ "Thanks," he says instead.

Gabriel mouth kicks up to one side. "You can thank me later," he tells John, before stealing a kiss.

Dean grumbles softly, sleepily, in complaint about it. Gabriel just laughs softly and kisses Dean's hair.

John almost asks Gabriel to stay, but there isn't room from them all here, so he let's Gabriel gather up his own kids and leave.

 

***

 

John walks the floor with Hel. Her wail is pitiful and broken only by coughing.

"It's okay," John whispers, stroking her back. "You're okay, baby girl."

Dean sits on the other motel bed, eyes wide. "Is she sick?" he asks.

John nods. "Yeah, she is, Dean. Try and go back to sleep."

Sam, thankfully, has slept through the crying so far but John's sure that won't last.

"Does she want her daddy?" Dean wants to know.

"Probably, Dean," John says, trying not to sound exasperated. It's not Dean's fault Gabriel isn't here. Or Fen.

Hel squirms in John's arms. The toddler whimpers out "Da."

Dean holds up his arms. "I'll hold her," Dean offers. "Maybe she's hungry."

"That's a good idea. I'll make her a bottle," John says, because he's out of ideas. "Sweetheart, do you want to go to Dean for a while?"

Amazingly, she goes easily into Dean's arms. John runs his fingers through his hair.

"It's okay," Dean whispers to Hel, patting the toddler's back. "Daddy will fix it."

John smiles at Dean. "Thanks, buddy."

It several hours later when Gabriel shows up at the door. Gabriel looks frazzled, tired. Beyond him, John can see Fen asleep in the Gabriel's truck.

"Damn, John, I'm sorry," Gabriel says right off.

John looks at Gabriel then back into the room where Hel is asleep between Dean and Sam. "Your daughter is sick."

Gabriel eyes go wide and horrified. "Hel is -- Fath -- is she okay?"

"She's asleep now," John tells him, and then pulls his fingers through his hair. "We can't keep doing this."

Gabriel makes a sound in the back of his throat. "John. No. We can - "

John holds up a hand. "I mean this." He gestures towards the kids asleep on the bed and then to Fen. "This isn't fair to our kids, Gabe."

Gabriel steps forward, pressing his face against John's neck. "Then we'll find a way to make it fair."

"Yeah," John agrees, kissing his hair. "Now let's get Fen inside."

***

They get an apartment together.

 

***

 

John's content.

He almost feels guilt for it. Mary's still dead. The thing that killed her is still out there.

But he's as content as he can be.

He keeps others safe from monsters. He keeps his sons safe. He has a stable place for his boys to live. He has friends in the hunter community.

He has Gabriel.

Gabriel with his wide smiles, clever mind, and skills with a knife. Gabriel with his two kids and a heart big enough for John's kids.

It's not love. John doesn't think he can ever do that again. And not with another hunter.

But he's content.

John fingers card through Gabriel's sweaty hair. "Do we want to get a tree for Christmas?" he asks idly.

Gabriel makes a noise into his skin. "Fucks me into a coma, then asks about _trees_ ," he grumbles.

"You're very talkative for a man in a coma," John comments, glad his flush can't be seen in the dark. Gabriel is so frank about so many things. But John likes that.

He likes that Gabriel isn't ashamed of this.

Gabriel snorts into his skin, then falls quiet. He traces patterns into John's skin. John recognizes some of them as protection.

"John..." Gabriel trails off.

"Hm?"

Gabriel shakes his head just a bit. "Nothing."

***

John laughs as Gabriel pulls him into a rough kiss. "I haven't shaved in days."

Gabriel tugs him closer, fingers in his hair. "I like you scruffy."

***

John comes home in the pouring rain to an empty apartment. All the kids' rain coats are gone, along with Hel and Sam's new rain boots.

He checks the salt lines before making a cup of coffee and starting to clean his guns.

John's just put away the last weapon when he hears the giggling in the stairs. Grinning, he puts a kettle of water on the stove as the front door opens.

Gabriel's laughing with Dean on his back and Hel in his arms. Fen is holding Sam. They're covered in mud. Gabriel's face is smeared with it and so are the kids.

"Did you take them mud wrestling?" John asks, claiming his eldest from Gabriel's back.

"We went hiking, Dad," Dean tells him.

John raises an eyebrow as he sits Dean on the ground so he can get Sam. "Hiking in the rain?"

Gabriel grins. "It seemed like a good idea."

"Of course it did," John says dryly. "You're helping with the baths."

"You going to help me with mine?" Gabriel asks, waggling his eyebrows.

Fen wrinkles his nose. "Gross."

John laughs and leans close to kiss Gabriel. He catches a whiff of something sweet, mint maybe -- then Sam pats his face with a muddy hand and Gabriel runs muddy fingers through John's hair --and the smell doesn't matter. Hel giggles and he gives her a Eskimo kiss. He can see Dean trying to climb on Fen's back.

"Now you need a bath, dad," Dean says, between giggles.

Gabriel's fingers smear mud across his cheeks. "I guess I do."

"Don't worry, Johnny, I'll be glad to help."

***

"When's dad coming home?" Dean asks again. For what seems like the hundredth time.

Gabriel sighs, looking away from the sink full of dishes. Figured the dish washer would break when John was gone. It be so easy just to snap it all clean -- "When he finishes his hunt with Robert Singer."

"What's he hunting?" Dean asks, leaning against the counter.

Gabriel knows John's been odd lately about the kids knowing just what they hunt other than in the vaguest of ways. "A monster."

Dean rolls his eyes. "Fen said he's hunting Cthulu. What's a Cthulu?"

"An elder god. And he's not hunting Cthulu," Gabriel says firmly. He and Fen are going to have a long talk tonight.

"What's he hunting then?" Dean asks. "A ghoul? A werewolf?"

Sam comes in sucking his thumb, Hel trailing behind him. "When's daddy coming home?"

"John home?" Hel echos, dragging the bear John gave her behind her.

Fen sticks his head into the kitchen. "Dad, is John back yet?"

Gabriel hangs his head. He loves these kids. He really does. But right now he could happy remove their mouths. "How about we go to a movie?"

***

John feels like shit for lying to Gabriel and the kids but he is on a hunt -- in a sense. This one's almost as important as finding the thing that killed Mary.

"This isn't a ritual to use lightly, John," Bobby warns John watching him climb into the Impala.

"It's just research," John tells him, the lie thick in his throat.

Bobby shakes his head. "That's bullshit, John. Plan and simple and you know it."

John shrugs. Bobby's notes are tucked away in his journal. He just wants to have them, he hasn't made up his mind to do it yet. "I know what I'm doing."

"If you did, you'd be home with your kids not down here bugging me for things best left alone," Bobby tells him sternly.

"Call me if come across any leads," John says ignoring Bobby's implications. Gabriel's taking care of the kids. Dean and Sammy are just fine.

***

John has the ritual to summon Loki for two weeks before he finally uses it. He isn't doing this lightly.

But if there's a chance...

He hopes Gabriel will understand. That this won't feel like betrayal.

The location John's picks is on the edge of town. An old paper mill. Too many things could go wrong and he wants his boys safe. Just in case.

This is a pagan god he's summoning up, a vicious creature. Something that will demand flesh sacrifice from John. If the binding spell doesn't hold -- John's screwed and probably it's lunch.

John looks over the binding circle he's made, looking for any breaks in it. When he finds none he carefully covers most of it with dirt and debris. The summoning should have Loki appear in the center of it - if John doesn't mess up.

He crushes in mint with his blood, adds mistletoe. He paints the needed symbol across his chest with the mixture. The rest he burns while he speaks the incantation. His voice is steadier than it has any right to be considering what he's doing. John's presses his sweating palms against his jeans and waits.

A lifetime ago he would have prayed.

A bright flash of light blinds John momentary, and he gropes blindly for the stake tucked into the back of his jeans. Just as his fingers curl around the rough wood does his vision clear.

In the center of the binding circle stands a man. A man John knows intimately.

His fingers slip from the wood. Bile fills John's throat and he fights for words. He never -- _never_ thought --

"Hi, John," Gabriel says with a bitter smile. "I wish you hadn't done that."

But maybe he should have. Maybe this had been there all along and he was too stupid to see.

"The kids are fine," Gabriel says as if that should reassure John.

 

Oh god, his boys.

 

"You son of a bitch," John spits out around the lump in his throat. He tries to get to his feet and to grab for the stake but he can't move. John's stuck fast as that thing that's been playing him walks closer.

Gabriel - Loki's eyes flare. "I'm the son of a bitch? You're the naughty hunter summoning up a pagan god. All I did was come when called." His smile is all teeth. "Robert _did_ warn you not to do this lightly."

"Shut up," John hisses.

"Really, I'm the wronged lover here. Not a single word to me about trying to have Mary brought back! Planning to let me down gently with her on your arm, hm?" Loki asks, leaning down over John. "Or were you going to offer me up as the sacrifice?"

John grits his teeth, refusing to think about the questions. The same questions that had been plaguing him. He never would have offered Gabriel up thought. _Never_. "It's all just been a game to you hasn't it, Loki?"

"No," Loki says harshly as he straightens up. "Not my style."

"It was just a sick game for you. I trusted you with my _boys_ and if you've hurt them -- ." Something in his chest twists and aches.

Loki fingers are in John's hair, pulling his head back sharply. "And I trusted you with _my_ children, John Winchester." He shakes John's head hard enough to blur John's vision. "I have never and will never hurt Dean and Sam. I never lied when I said I loved them."

"Then give them their mother back!" John demands. "You can have me for whatever you want, but bring back Mary."

"I can't!" Loki shouts, his voice raged like the words are torn from him.

Glass all around them shatters while John groans from the terrible pain in his ears.

"I can't, John," Loki repeats softer. His fingers unclench from John's hair then run across his scalp. "Don't you think I'd give her back if I could?"

John doesn't speak. Can't. The words don't even make sense in his own head.

"I was going to tell you," Loki says softly. "It -- the thing between us -- was real. If you believe nothing else, believe that."

Loki's fingers stroke through John's hair again, like they can't help it. John's thankful he can't move and can't lean into that touch. "How can I believe anything you say?"

"I have broken so many rules for you, John."

John closes his eyes. It's not an answer at all, but he's not sure if there can be one. And Mary -- god Mary -- the niggling fear that even if he had Mary back -- he's changed too much. He can't pretend the monsters don't exist. He's never going to stop loving her but for her to see what he's become?

"Why did you do any of this to start with?" he asks.

Loki shrugs his shoulders. "Does it really matter now?" He drops his head forward and snaps his fingers.

Just like that John can move again. The wooden stake is in front of him, like an offering.

"Do what you have to, John," Loki whispers, turning his back to John. "Just take care of my kids."

Time seems to stretch as John gets to his feet. He picks up the stake and walks toward Loki.

"Pagan gods eat human flesh," John says. That's something he would have noticed, picked up on. He's certain of it.

"I don't eat people." Gabriel shrugs again. "Tricksters don't swing that way. Sweets all the way for us."

John's close enough to rest his forehead on Gabriel's shoulder if he wanted.

Gabriel shudders. "Just do it."

He can't. This is Gabriel and he can't.

"You know those powers would come in handy on hunts," John says trying for a casual voice. It fails. "Expect you to pull your weight a bit more."

"John?"

The stake falls to the floor. John rests his forehead on Gabriel's shoulder. "Dean and Sam would be upset if you went missing. And I'm not raising demi-gods on my own, Gabriel."

Gabriel sags back into John. "And I'm good in bed."

John manages a smile into Gabriel's shoulder. "That, too."

***

They don't talk about what happened at the paper mill.

Gabriel does teach John a better summoning spell.

 

***

Wednesday is movie night.

Tonight is Secret of Nimh. Fen's pick.

"Is Timmy gonna be okay?" Dean asks from where he's curled between Gabriel and John. He has the important task of holding the popcorn.

"You have to watch and see," Gabriel tells him. Sam is snuggled up in Gabriel's arms, sucking his thumb.

Hel is sitting in her brother's lap on the floor.

There's a hunt John could be on, but it's a rule, movie night is not to be missed. John sometimes wonders what he would have become without Gabriel. If he would have sat on a couch with his boys at least once a week and watched a movie with them.

"Want some popcorn, dad?" Dean asks after Fen passes the bowl back.

John ruffles his hair. "Yeah," he says, taking a handful. It wasn't that long ago he'd come home to a shabby motel room to find that Dean had made him dinner. That his little seven year old son was taking care of him.

"Shh," Fen says causing John to chuckle.

Gabriel slings his arm around John's shoulders half way through the movie. John can't help but smile over at his lover. Gabriel's eyes sparkle.

Dean rests his head against John and Hel climbs up onto the couch to snuggle against John.

John is so damn grateful and he'll never let anything take this from him.

***

Gabriel loves watching John above him.

The human is cocksure, smiling knowingly down at him.

John has his wrists pinned to the mattress as he rides Gabriel.

"No snapping," John reminds him, keeping up his slow rocking pace.

John's skin is marred by bruises and scars that he won't let Gabriel erase. But Gabriel likes him this way.

He loves John's strong thighs flexing against his hips. "Not my fault you were gone for a week," Gabriel whines.

"I want to make sure you don’t forget me," John chuckles breathless. He leans down and kisses Gabriel. It's wet and hungry.

Gabriel pushes his hips upwards, tries to make John speed up. "No chance - aha - of that."

John's teeth mark his throat and Gabriel gasps. No one pagan god, human, or angel has ever been able to wreck him so fast and so thoroughly.

"Better not," John tells him on the tail end of groan. He twists his hips, drawing a groan from Gabriel. John's smile is wicked as he lifts himself up and sinks back onto Gabriel faster and faster.

Gabriel whines high in his throat. "Please --"

John tips his head back, letting go of Gabriel's hands. Gabriel grasps at his hips, pulling him down hard, driving out a sharp gasp. John looks so fucking gorgeous that Gabriel almost comes just from looking at him.

"Gonna come for me, baby?" John asks, his voice rough and deep.

He comes as if on command. Gabriel's back arches, his head slams back into the mattress. The words that fall from his lips are nowhere near English or human.

When the world sets itself to right, John is still straddling him and jerking himself off. Gabriel brings his hand up to join John.

"God," John gasps, comes across their hands. He slumps over Gabriel's chest.

John refuses to call this cuddling but Gabriel loves it. "Can I snap now?" he asks as the sweat and semen start to cool.

"No," John tells him, nipping his shoulder. "Shower. I still have blood in my hair."

Gabriel leers up at his lover. "I think it's hot."

John drags him into the shower anyway. Not that Gabriel minds; they have several hours before the kids are up.

***

They're lying in bed when John finally asks. Gabriel's head is resting on John's chest, sweat cooling on their skin. He cards his fingers through Gabriel's hair.

"How true are all the legends about you?" John asks.

Gabriel snorts. "Depends on which ones. Humans love to exaggerate and so do drunk demi-gods. Which one are you wondering about?" Gabriel asks, tracing his fingers across John's stomach muscles.

"Everything I've read agrees that you have three children. Four if you count the horse," John says carefully. He knows he might be crossing some line but Fen mentioned an older brother once when waking up from a nightmare. Gabriel had been gone and the boy had clung to John crying for his mother and a "Jor".

"The horse wasn't mine. I swear," Gabriel's tone is light but his body tenses.

John almost doesn't press, but he isn't good at leaving well enough alone. "What about the third child. You had a son - Jörmungandr," John says, softly. He strokes his hand between Gabriel's shoulder blades. He prays Gabriel won't just disappear.

Gabriel pushes away, turns and curls onto his side. "John, please. Leave it."

It stings that Gabriel's won't trust him with something so important. He still runs his fingers over Gabriel's hair.

Silence falls over the bedroom until John thinks Gabriel has fallen asleep.

"They killed him. The Dvergar slaughtered him in his bed," Gabriel whispers. "Angrboða as well. She fought them, killed a fair number too. Gave Hel to Fenir and told him to run, to hide." Gabriel shakes under John's hand. "I wasn't there, John. I should have been there."

John wraps an arm around Gabriel. Sorry doesn't cover it. He can't even try and think about if he'd lost Dean or Sam along with Mary. It makes his stomach twist.

"I won't lose any children again," Gabriel's voice breaks. "I can't. I'll kill, torture, _anything_ , to keep them all safe. Fenir, Hel, Dean, Sam. All of them."

John kisses the back of Gabriel's neck, pressing his body against the Trickster's. "I know." He closes his eyes. "I'd do the same."

Gabriel turns in John's arms, tucks his head against John's chest. There's no need to say anything more.

***

When Gabriel's brother Luc shows up at the door, John is sure for a moment a fight's going to break out. The two just stare at each other and John keeps his hand around his gun.

John's trickster rarely talks about his family so John doesn't know which way this is going to go.

The kids are all fast asleep - even Fen - thank god - but John starts calculating how he's going to get them to safety.

Then Gabriel smiles in that crooked way of his. "Hey, bro. Long time no see. Want a beer?"

 

***

Luc doesn't speak much and looks at the kids like they're some alien beings. Sometimes he stares at Sammy unblinkingly a few moments too long.

John doesn't like it.

***

Gabriel strokes a hand down John's sweat slick back. "Thank you for trusting me," he whispers into John's hair.

John kisses his shoulder. He has to trust the trickster. If he can't -- John thinks something in him barely mended will break for good. "I don't like the way he stares at Sam."

"He won't hurt Sam. Or any of them," Gabriel swears.

For a moment there's nothing but the sound the fan overhead. "And if he does?"

"Then I'll kill my brother," Gabriel tells the dark.

John holds him a bit tighter.

***

Luc turns out to be handy in the kitchen. He quickly remembers which child drinks what and that Dean won't eat sandwiches with crust.

John catches him chopping up broccoli and stirring it into spaghetti sauce.

"It is important that they eat vegetables. Dean and Fen seems against the concept," Luc says.

"Most kids are," John chuckles. "Thanks for making dinner."

Luc looks confused. "You are welcome," he says slowly like he is tasting the words.

He does smile at dinner when Dean has a second helping.

***

Gabriel noses the back of John's neck. It's Saturday morning, John has no hunts and the bed is warm. He can hear the kids in the living room with the TV on.

Thundercats probably or Silverhawks.

He hears the dry rumble of his brother's voice.

"What time is it?" John mutters.

Gabriel nips the hand print on John's neck. "Early."

"Kids up?"

He strokes John's stomach, grazing the edge of his boxers. "Course."

John makes a noise that means he's going to try and get up.

He hooks his leg over John's hip, pressing his erection against John's ass. "Luc's got 'em."

John hums, arching back.

"Saturday morning," Gabriel croons. "Sleepy sex."

The chuckle he gets is low and warm.

***

John's never sure how Luc figures it out.

Luc takes up baking and the first pie he bakes is John's favorite. The crust is a bit soggy and the apples too hard. It doesn't matter; John thinks it's perfect, because it was made just for him.

***

John wakes to an empty bed one night. He doesn't think anything of it, Gabriel could just be checking on the kids. Dean has nightmares some nights and Hel keeps climbing out of her crib into Sam's.

Still something makes him get out of bed. He pads bare foot through the apartment and checks on the kids rooms. They're all fast asleep, though Fen's light is still on. John turns off the light and covers the boy up.

He heads for the kitchen, sure he'll find Gabriel there eating sweets.

Gabriel it turns out is in the kitchen.

With Luc.

The two brothers are standing chest to chest. Luc's hands are resting on Gabriel's hips. Gabriel's fingers lie across the back of Luc's neck.

They're kissing. Slow and deep.

John's stomach drops and it feels like something jagged is wedged in his chest. He stands frozen, watching.

Then Gabriel's eyes open. He sees John and he flinches.

"John," Gabriel calls, pulling away from Luc.

John leaves the kitchen as fast as possible. He doesn't look back.

 

***

"John," Gabriel's voice shakes as he sits on the edge of the bed.

"Don't even try and tell me it wasn't what it looked like," John says into his pillow.

Fingers brush against the back of his neck. "It was what it looked like but it doesn't mean what you think."

John doesn't raise his head and balls his fists under the pillow. "I know your kind doesn't have the same taboos humans do. I'm not pissed because you were kissing your brother."

"You're pissed because I was kissing him," Gabriel sighs. "I love him, John."

His stomach drops and his chest aches. He knew this wouldn't last. He knew he couldn't count on a demi-god to stay. But the kids --

How were Dean and Sammy going to take loosing Fen and Hel? His own heart doesn't feel like it can take it. He loves those kids.

"I understand," John says. But he doesn't. Goddamnit he doesn't.

"I love you, too," Gabriel chokes out. "John, damnit it, look at me."

John sits up angrily and stares at Gabriel. "That's supposed to make it better? That you love me too?"

"Yes!" All the glass in the room rattles.

He winces. "I'm human, Gabriel."

Gabriel reaches out, fingers touching John's arms. "I know. And I'm sorry. I wanted to talk to you first."

John dips his head forward. "I don't think I can share you."

Hot fingers run up his arms and rest on the back of his neck. "I'm not sure I can share you." He kisses John before he can figure out Gabriel's words. "He wants you, too."

John inhales sharply. "Gabriel, I don't think I --"

"We won't just take, John. I swear it. You'll have to say yes," Gabriel tells him between quick desperate kisses. "And if you can't -- I'll choose you. Every time."

John threads his fingers through Gabriel's hair. Holding him still. "Need time to think, Gabe."

"You can have eternity," Gabriel promises.

***

John finds Luc stroking Dean's back one night. "No monster would dare comes past your father, Gabriel, and I," he's telling the boy.

"The monster got mommy," Dean whispers.

Luc leans over and kisses Dean's head. "And it will be destroyed for doing so."

John goes quietly back to bed.

***

"Yes."

***

They kiss differently.

Gabriel's mouth is a wet slick heat. He licks into John's mouth, bites at his lips. There are smiles and laughter between kisses, even when it's soft and affectionate.

Luc's lips are dry, rough. The kisses are strangely chaste, lips pressed tight together and pressed hard against John's. Like he doesn't have a clue how to kiss a human and worries about breaking him.

John and Gabriel mostly kiss. Luc's kisses are more suited to backs and shoulders. His fingers rarely stray from Gabriel's skin, unless Gabriel's hands guide them.

John's not sure if this is ever going to work.

But they try.

***

"And the army men are rescuing Papa Smurf from Cobra," Dean explains to Lucifer.

He nods, watching as Dean lines up the little green men in a line. "And Cobra is the bad guy?"

"Uh-huh. Real bad," Dean tells him.

"Why did they kidnap Papa Smurf?" Lucifer asks.

Dean glances up from arranging his toys just so. "Because they're evil."

The boy's soul glows with innocence and trust as he smiles. "Ah," Lucifer says sagely.

From the door John smiles. That smile warms Lucifer's grace with contentment and joy.

***

John's laid up with a broken arm. Werewolf threw him through a wall and he's damn lucky he was hunting with Bill and not alone.

Sam and Hel are cuddled up next to him, having worn themselves out "bandaging" him up. John's pretty sure the Star Wars band aids on his forehead aren't doing much -- you can't always tell with Hel -- but it settled the toddlers.

Dean sprawled out in a chair by the bed. He fell asleep reading to John. Fen's asleep as well, by Dean's feet in the shape of a wolf.

"You can't heal him," he hears Gabriel says softly outside the bedroom door.

"Why not?"

Gabriel's sigh would be audible even if John wasn't straining to hear. "Because he said no."

John refuses to take advantage of his lovers. He's still human, he'll heal like one.

Later he wakes to Luc's fingers on his forehead. Pale blue eyes meet his for a moment before Luc carefully curls around John and the toddlers.

If John's arm heals faster than it should no one mentions it.

***

Lucifer never understood why John insisted he learned to use a gun. The hunter after all believed him to be a pagan god like Gabriel. Not that the learning process hadn't been - enjoyable - but still pointless.

Gabriel had pointed out later while John slept that Lucifer couldn't exactly go around smiting people. Lucifer had pointed out that he didn't 'smite' people anymore. Not at least in the sense Gabriel meant it.

Now he understands. Now with one of John's guns pressed to the back of a man's head he understands. "Put her down," he orders. Hel is whimpering and Sam is hidden behind Dean who holds a gun in shaky young hands.

He could kill this man in a hundred painful ways but his rage would make him forget the need for caution. He would scare the children, maybe even hurt them in his rage. They didn't know the horrible power he or Gabriel truly possess. Only the toys and treats. Only the good things.

"Hey, I didn't do anything," the man stutters. He puts her down, though. "I was just trying to help. I found the door open and the kids crying..."

"Liar!" Dean shouts. The boy's scared but oh so brave. Lucifer's quite proud of him in that moment. It reminds him of the better parts of Michael.

"I know what you are, warlock. I know what you intended," Lucifer growls. "Your soul reeks with it."

The pathetic creature is trying to work a spell on him. Of course it doesn't work.

"You harmed two of my children. You planned to sacrifice my daughter," Lucifer hisses in his ear. "You have no idea what you have harmed. But you will learn."

The warlock makes a sound and perhaps he has some inkling now. His spells aren't working and he would be a fool not to know he'd angered something powerful.

"Dean take Hel and Sam to the master bedroom," he tells the boy calmly. Dean's forehead is cut and his arm bruised, but Fenir lies unconscious on the floor. He'll heal them both when he is done with this human.

Dean obeys quickly and quietly. Neither toddler is crying now.

"Look, I'll make a deal with you. Anything," the warlock pleads. "We'll only sacrifice to you now."

"You will suffer," Lucifer promises. "This bullet will not end you but when my brother is done with you, you will wish it had."

He pulls the trigger.

Gabriel arrives moments later.

What they do to the man is nothing compared to what Lucifer wishes to.

When John comes home and learns what has happened, he only asks how much the warlock was made to suffer.

The children are allowed to stay up late and have seconds of dessert.

The wards and protections on the house are strengthened.

Lucifer refuses any comfort from John or Gabriel. He doesn't follow them into bed, instead he watches them curl around each other in bed. He sits on the couch all night, hands folded as if in prayer.

This is not how things are supposed to be. This is not the way things were written. John sleeps only feet away believing he has entrusted his children to demi-gods. All of it is a lie.

Lucifer had wanted the warlock's soul. He would have sent the human to Hell to suffer. Gabriel had said it wasn't their place to decide that. Lucifer had sneered at him, at the Angel of Judgment for such words. His brother judges humankind and sets their punishments and yet would deny Lucifer the same privilege.

He's tired of the lies. Humans call him the Prince of Lies but he has never lied, not truly, until he found Gabriel. Found a small taste of what home was like.

"I left them alone," Lucifer says when he senses Gabriel behind him. John's soul is still calm with sleep, he will not hear this.

Gabriel doesn't move. Doesn't speak.

Lucifer rests his elbows on his thighs. "I went to speak with one of my demons. I left the wards open."

His brother inhales sharply - a funny things since neither of them needed air. "Luc -- "

"That is not my name!" Lucifer roars, on his feet and in Gabriel's face. "This is all a lie, Gabriel. I am the Morningstar, I am Lucifer."

Gabriel winces, eyes darting towards the children's rooms, towards where John sleeps on. "You'll wake them," he says softly. "Brother, please."

"You have lived a lie long enough. You will tell John Winchester the truth or I will," Lucifer tells him.

Brown eyes are almost swallowed up by light. "All of it, Lucifer?" he hisses. "About Mary? And Dean and Sam? Are you going to tell him what had been planned for Sam?"

Lucifer breaks eye contact first, resting his forehead against his brother's. "I fear he will hate us enough without those particular truths."

A shudder runs through Gabriel and Lucifer finds himself unfurling his burnt and torn wings to wrap around the youngest archangel. "I love him," Gabriel whispers in a tongue Lucifer hasn't heard since he fell. "I tied my grace to him."

"Little fool," Lucifer whispers.

***

Looking back, punching the Devil was not the best of reactions. It leaves John with a temporarily broken hand and a betrayed looking Lucifer. As if Luc - Satan even has the right.

"John," Gabriel's stricken voice comes from behind him.

His brain puts it together in the space of a few breaths. Brothers. Gabriel. Lucifer.

Angels.

"You lied to me," is all he can get out. "Again."

He doesn't have a weapon, he doesn't have a plan. John moves as fast as humanly possible, shoves past Gabriel, running towards his kids' room.

He bundles up Sam who starts crying, then a sleepy confused Dean.

"Daddy?" Dean asks, watching with wide eyes as John passes a crying Sam to him.

John doesn't answer. He gathers up his guns and grabs up his boys. "Just hold onto me, Dean. And hold onto your brother."

Hel's crying in her room and Fen stands in his doorway looking scared. "John?"

"Go back to bed, Fen,” John's voice shakes, because he loves Gabriel's children but he can't take them with him. He has to hope Gabriel protects them himself.

It's Gabriel, not Lucifer, not the fucking devil, that stands between John and the front door.

"John, please. Just listen to me," Gabriel pleads.

But he can't. Because he'll give in and he's got the boys to protect. His and Mary's baby boys.

"No," he whispers and shoots Gabriel between the eyes.

Dean lets out a terrified wail. Sam cries hysterically.

Later there's a motel room, salt lined and warded with everything John can think of. Dean and Sam huddled together on one bed. There's a half empty bottle of bourbon.

John's face is wet and he hasn't let go of the gun.

***

"I want to go home," Dean says in the morning.

John wants to agree.

***

John moves them around a lot. They don't stay in the same town for more than a night.

He barely sleeps. The bed feels too empty.

Dean has stopped talking again. He just clings to Sammy and stares at John.

Sammy cries a lot. He cries for Luc. For Gabriel. John takes to having both boys in bed with him as he lies awake staring at the door.

He keeps waiting for Gabriel to find them.

It hurts more than it should that he doesn't.

Sometimes he wakes in a cold sweat from dreams of Gabriel lying unmoving on the floor. Dead, permanently, from John's bullet.

After two weeks he starts dreaming about Gabriel alive, sitting on the other bed.

"Please come back," Dream Gabriel whispers. "I miss you. Fen and Hel miss you. I love you."

John holds his boys close. "You let the devil near my boys."

"He's not the devil anymore. He loves you."

Gabriel stands and moves towards John. Kisses him. "I swore I'd never let him hurt the children. That still stands."

When John wakes he wonders if the promise is enough. He thinks about demon blood in his son's mouth. Of Mary on the ceiling.

***

Fen is the one that finds them.

"Does your father know you're here?" John asks.

The boy shakes his head. He looks up at John with eyes the same color as Gabriel's. "Please come home."

"Fen," John sighs.

Dean is watching with wide eyes from where he stands hugging Fen. John would give anything for his eldest to say something, anything.

"Dad's really sorry," Fen says. "And Hel misses you."

John reaches out and strokes Fen's hair. "Fen, it's not as easy as that."

Fen's bottom lip trembles. "Don't you love us anymore?"

"God, Fen." He pulls Fenir into a hug. "I love you and your sister very much. It never had anything to do with that."

Fen buries his face in John's shirt. "Then come home. Dad doesn't smile anymore. Uncle Luc doesn't sing to Hel anymore."

Dean tugs at John's shirt. "I want to go home, Daddy."

"Home," Sammy echoes. "Da, home."

John closes his eyes tightly. He's only so strong. And these are his children. All four of them.

"Okay," John says softly. "We'll go home."


End file.
